An anonymous whistleblower formerly employed by Goodboys Radio Relay League (GRRL) made startling accusations at a press conference today, claiming his exposure to ham radio in the workplace led to his transformation into a silverfish.
“Ironically, I was tasked with convincing the general public that ham radio couldn’t possibly turn them into silverfish. Yet it wasn’t a week after I received my Tech license and was put in charge of a booth at hamfests nationwide, when I found myself increasingly drawn to tubs and sinks - not to wash myself, but instead to scuttle down the drain like a bat outa hell.”
“Fortunately, I was too large to fit down the drain, but living in denial was impossible once children began to shy away from my booth, along with dogs, men, women, and police officers armed with semiautomatic weapons.
“The crazy thing is, not everyone was terrified. I generated some of the best numbers of any ham radio recruiter, but had trouble sleeping nights, you know? What if some of those hams became silverfish and shrank small enough to fit down a drain?
“What if they scuttled down the drain and never came back? How could I face their family and friends? Me, a giant, self-hating silverfish?
“I never signed on for this,” exclaimed the disgruntled ex-employee. “On the other hand, ham radio itself is a fascinating, fulfilling, lifetime hobby, I’ll give it that.”